by Emmett Miller | Sep 29, 2011
Please select a title from the list below.
How to Use the Recordings Made During Your Appointment is the standard set of general instructions for working with deep relaxation and guided imagery recordings, including those made at the time of your visit. Read this from time to time to keep its suggestions in mind. Read these guidelines . . .
How to do re-scripting following a Selective Awareness Exploration is a more in depth look at how to work with the imagery recordings designed for you based on the material dealt with during your Exploration. It is a way of reconditioning your brain, your mind, and through them, your body . Read this document if you have had a Selective Awareness Exploration or if Dr. Miller has recommended that you read it in relationship to performing desensitization. Download and read through it every week or two to help stay on track.
by Emmett Miller | Sep 16, 2011
In your work with Dr. Miller’s CDs, MP3s, and Tapes, you will probably be examining unwanted behavior patterns you employed in the past. This may involve the recent past (such as last week) or the distant past (such as young adulthood, childhood or even infancy). The kinds of behaviors you examine may include:
- Physical behaviors—such as nail biting, smoking, co-dependence (link to Finding Serenity), or alcohol usage (link to serenity prayer).
- Physical symptoms — including such behaviors as headaches, fatigue, high blood pressure or arthritis.
- Mental behaviors, symptoms in your thinking — including such symptoms as worrying, procrastination, obsessiveness, poor concentration, forgetfulness, etc.
- Emotional behaviors—such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, sadness, or depression.
When you examine your life carefully, you will discover that the offending behavior is customarily associated with certain specific situations or events. (E.g., “I tend to get a headache when I have an argument.”)
Developing a new way of relating with the world will involve achieving insight, discovering new perspectives, and learning new skills, techniques and approaches. Two most important tools for changing these patterns are deconditioning (or “deprogramming”) the old response pattern and writing a new script (or “program”) that is more to your liking. This process includes creating the new pattern, and teaching it to your body and nervous system.
The Selective Awareness Exploration
A most powerful method for gaining understanding and insight into dysfunctional behavior, patterns of thought, emotion and behavior is the Selective Awareness Exploration, a relaxation and mindfulness-based process for finding the root of imbalances and unwanted reactions of the unconscious levels of the mind, the emotions, and the body. It was originally developed by Dr. Miller in the early 1970s.
The Exploration integrates a number of powerful perspectives and approaches drawn from numerous fields, including Psychoanalysis, Meditation, Autogenic Training, Gestalt and Jungian Psychology, Hypnosis, Behavioral Psychology, Family Therapy and Transpersonal Psychology.
The typical Exploration involves several steps:
1. Entering a deeply relaxed state through Selective Awareness.
2. Exploring, memory by memory, the offending pattern back through time as far as possible, to discover that moment (or moments) in your life at which this dysfunctional perspective, expectation and behavior was first learned by your mind/body complex. Because this takes place in the state of Deep Relaxation, any emotions associated with these events are easily soothed, which erases (deconditions) the negative response pattern. Further, it gives the conscious, intentional part of your mind a solid, intelligent, frame with which to understand and respond to the world, rather than react.
3. Experiencing (in the safety of the deeply relaxed Selective Awareness state) the appropriate emotions in the appropriate historical contexts (healing the inner child). Catharsis, emotional accessing, understanding, and increased awareness occur at this point.
4. Analyzing this series of memories using the mature, nurturing, wise adult perspective to develop insight and understanding. Guilt, shame, fear, and excess anger often dissipate at this step, as the guidance of your inner wisdom helps you understand and reframe your experiences and feelings.
5. Formulating a new, more functional, more appropriate, more reasonable approach to life challenges, armed with the insight gained in step 4. This is where you actually create a new script (mental program) for your brain, nervous system, and body.
6. Deconditioning and Self-nurturing. Now that a new psychological and emotional perspective has been developed, you mentally relive these same memories in imagery. This time, however, you relive them with a new understanding, and with a sense of being completely relaxed. Reliving them without the original reaction breaks the internal conditioning. The inner part that had been carrying out the old behavior is treated with kindness, respect, and understanding by the nurturing adult part.
7. Rescripting. The next step is to relive the memories, employing the new “script” you have designed, one in which you are more in charge, more empowered, grounded, self-accepting and independent. As you go through each of these scenes, you reenact it according to this new script as though you were a playwright improving upon the script for an actor or actress. By visualizing yourself possessing and using the traits and abilities that can bring about success in such situations, you are actually installing new programs into your biocomputer (your subconscious mind).
8. Future Pacing. Finally, you project ahead to similar situations that are likely to occur in the future, this time envisioning yourself meeting such challenges with the new perspective, with new feelings, and with new behaviors. This provides a kind of “post-hypnotic suggestion” to encourage the new behavior automatically. The more powerfully you can feel the positive emotions, the more deeply you will be impacting your deeper mind.
9. Daily Practicing . Listening to and experiencing the CD or MP3 once a day “burns” the new pattern permanently into your mind. As you experience the changes in your everyday life, you reinforce them and replace the old pattern with the new one. If you listen two or more times a day, the positive changes happen even more rapidly.
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by Emmett Miller | Sep 16, 2011
As you acquire different programs prepared by Dr. Miller to help you achieve different goals, you will notice that there are three basic types of recordings — just as there are three types of programs Dr. Miller might record during individual consultation
1. Heart-to-Heart Programs: Inspiration and Insight
Many of Dr. Miller’s “Software for the Mind” programs are “Heart-to-Heart” talks. These consist of Dr. Miller’s explanations and guidance, and are different from the “eyes closed” Meditation type of deep relaxation recordings described below.
These recordings are valuable to listen to repeatedly, and because you don’t necessarily need to be in a relaxed place with your eyes closed, it is usually safe to listen while you do other things including driving, provided these activities are not too distracting. (You are the responsible one to decide this.)
It is important that you understand the cause of the problem, imbalance, or challenge you are dealing with, the strategy you will follow, and the goals of this phase of the coaching or treatment. The information or conversation in the Heart-T0-Heart Talks here should be listened to on a number of occasions – first to make sure you understand the logic of the explanation and the strategy (necessary to enlist the faith of your conscious mind), and second, to continue to reinforce this information from time to time (perhaps once or twice a week).
2. Deep Relaxation/Image Rehearsal
These consist basically of training in relaxation and seeing yourself in a positive light. The ability to relax, to reach a positively affirming state of “I Am,” and to picture yourself in an enthusiastically positive light is the most fundamental skill you will learn. Use the CDs/MP3s/Tapes two or three times a day until you can reliably follow the suggestions, relax, and experience yourself in a positive way. You will probably be able to do this within a period of a few days to a few weeks.
- As you become more proficient, occasionally turn off the recording part way through and continue the experience from memory. Finally, practice carrying out the entire imagery process from memory. You may discover you can do this in 1/4 to 1/2 the time it takes on the recording! As in learning any new skill, if you practice at the same time, in the same place, each day (at least in the beginning), you will tend to learn easier and faster.
- Relaxation is the direct antidote to stress. First, you will learn to enter deep relaxation during your session. Then, in a graduated fashion, you will expand this ability so you will be able to relax in a safe, familiar place at home. Next, you will learn to relax and hold a positive image anywhere at home, with or without the recording. And finally you will be able to enter this relaxed state anywhere, even during periods of stress, simply by traveling over the now familiar mental pathway!
3. Desensitization/Reconditioning/Rescripting CDs/MP3s/Tapes
It is very important to use these CDs/MP3s/Tapes frequently because they deal with specific dysfunctional response patterns—mental, physical, emotional, and habit – and their effectiveness can generally be measured by the degree of disappearance of those dysfunctional patterns and their replacement with positive, healthy patterns.
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by Emmett Miller | Sep 16, 2011
To break longstanding habits and establish new ones, you need skills as well as knowledge. The recording you have received from Dr. Miller will help you learn the inner skills you need while providing valuable information and understanding to the deeper levels of your mind.
Here are some practical hints to help you get started in achieving your desired goals. All of these might not apply to your specific case, but the more you can adopt and follow through on, the better your chances of success. It is OK to start with a few of them then add more as the days or weeks go by.
- Take Baby Steps: Go gradually, one problem at a time. Trying to lose 40 pounds, learn Chinese, and make a career change all at once is asking far too much of yourself. Take it easy.
Especially in the beginning, it is important to create small successes. This produces the belief in your subconscious mind that you can use imagery effectively for personal change. The sense of confidence and empowerment that result will then make it easier to successfully take on even larger challenges.
If you make the error of trying to accomplish too much at one time, you are likely to overwhelm your new skills, leading to discouragement. This, in turn, can cause your subconscious mind to avoid these incredibly powerful tools in the future. If you make this error – no problem. Start again with a more easily achievable goal. Stay loaded for SUCCESS!
- Name The Problem. For best results, give your problem or issue a name (such as “healing my ulcer,” “becoming a relaxed person,” “becoming a great accountant,” etc.), and write it down. Be clear and specific. Your subconscious will understand you better.
If you are working on breaking a habit, write down the behaviors you want to change. Next, list the pros and cons of those behaviors . Ask yourself how these behaviors hurt you and others, and what the “secondary benefits” are that you derive from them? They must have been doing something good for you at some time, even if they are not now.
Be honest with yourself. Write down everything you can think of, and spend some time reading what you’ve written. For example:
Behavior: “I smoke a pack a day.”
Pro: “It gives me something to do with my hands, calms me down, helps me concentrate, and makes me look cool.”
Con: “It costs a lot, makes me smell, puts people off, wastes time, brands me as an ‘addict,’ and will lead to premature disease and death if I do not stop.”
___________________________________________
Behavior: “I tend to be impatient and controlling with others.”
Pro: “It saves time in the short run and I don’t have to take time to pay attention to others’ ideas.”
Con: “It irritates and hurts others, gives me a bad reputation, and loses friends for me.”
___________________________________________
Behavior: “I have difficulty falling asleep.”
Pro: “I don’t have to stop trying to solve the problems of today and imagining the problems of tomorrow.”
Con: “Sleepy all morning, hard to concentrate, poor performance at work, irritable in relationships”
Hint: If you have trouble imagining what benefit your subconscious mind thinks it is getting from this behavior, ask your husband or wife (or best friend, therapist, or coach).
- Create A Compelling Vision: Empower your goal. Write it down. Make it simple, measurable, and attainable. “I will be district manager by the end of the year.” “I will be smoke free by April 1.” “I will be in shape to run the half marathon on August 1.” “I will be healthy and well in time for Thanksgiving.”
Now you get to write your own life’s script! Imagine you had a special video camera that could take pictures of the future, after you have achieved your goal, and show them to you. What would be in that scene? What would someone looking on see? How would you be dressed? What would you be doing? What would be the effect on others and the world around you? Write it down — either as a little story, or a set of notes — so that anyone reading this would know that you had succeeded in reaching your goal.
As you listen to the program, Dr. Miller will show you how to use the “Master Skill,” guided imagery. Behind closed eyelids, you will imagine you can see that scene you just designed. Imagine how you will look, feel, and perform once your goal has been achieved. And use as many of your senses as possible as you actually imagine you can step into the scene. Pretend you are there already, hearing the sounds around you and your own voice, smelling the smell of the air, feeling the texture of anything you are touching. The more sensations you can imagine, the more powerful your image will be.
- Make A Concrete Plan. Write down the specific steps to reach your goal. “I’ll do aerobics on Monday nights, go running after work Wednesdays and Fridays, and cycle on Sundays. I’ll keep a calorie diary for one month.” “I will listen, relax, and do the guided imagery twice each day.”
Remember, the three most important factors in learning any new skill are: Practice . . . Practice . . . Practice. Your conscious mind may know what is on the recording. What you want is to impress it upon the deeper levels of your mind. Decide: “same time – same place – every day” is a simple way to make sure.
- Get Real: Make your commitment firm and real. Often the best way to do this is with a contract. The contract should spell out your goal, your plan, and rewards you will give yourself along the way and when you reach your goal. Discipline yourself to keep to that contract.
Rewards don’t have to cost money or be fattening. An evening with friends, a Saturday at your workbench or a luxurious, scented bath might be enticing enough. What would be a really fun reward for YOU? Be inventive. Reward each achievement on the path to your final goal.
For extra insurance, you can sign your contract and have someone witness it. This is for real! You are going to be successful this time!
- Keep Records: Feedback is the Breakfast of Champions. A diary or journal can be a very powerful aid to change. Make columns for What, When, How Often, Where, How Much, and Comments. You can record calories, minutes, pulse rates, miles, thoughts, feelings—anything that is important to you.
Set aside a few minutes each day to do this. Every now and then, check yourself out and see how you’re progressing. If you haven’t done what you wanted or expected, stop and think about it. Can you see what went wrong? What new choices can you make in order to be more successful in the next round?
If you repeatedly fail to reach a particular goal, perhaps the timing is wrong. Revise your goal to one you know you can achieve. This is YOUR program. It has worked for thousands — make it work for you.
- Accentuate The Positive, Eliminate The Negative: Counteract negative mental chatter with positive thoughts. If you keep thinking, “Oh, I’ll never make it. It’s too hard,” silently repeat to yourself something like, “I’ve done difficult things before and I can do this one too.” Counteract “I’m just the fat type” with “If I eat right and exercise regularly, I’ll become fit, not fat.”
Your mind belongs to you, and you can develop the ability to choose ways of thinking that support the changes you really want to make. If negative chatter is a major problem for you, then draw a line down a sheet of paper or in your journal. On the left write a typical negative, self-defeating statement. Then, on the right, write three positive statements you would prefer for your mind to be thinking. Continue down the page with other negative self-talk and positive replacements. Here is a sample feedback sheet.
Negative: 1. I don’t have enough willpower to follow through to success.
Positive: 1. I have the intelligence, the focus and a deep desire to succeed. I have succeeded before in other areas and can succeed here. I want success, and I will have it.
___________________________________________
Negative: 2. I feel like I have to have a sweet snack.
Positive: 2. I don’t need it, and I really don’t want it, etc.
Remember, you are doing this for yourself. You are worth the effort. As long as you are trying, you are not a failure. If you feel your motivation slipping, enlist support from family and friends, and review Part A of the program again. Good luck!
- Be A Person Who Needs People: Build a social support system. This may consist of a single other person dealing with a similar issue, a group that meets regularly, an online community, or simply a good friend or therapist you can share your victories and shortcomings with. Careful research has shown that, in making any kind of change, the most reliable way to increase the likelihood of success is the presence of a “buddy” or partner.
- Make Wise Choices. Developing the ability to make important life choices — choices that are healthy, mature, appropriate and wise — is a very central goal of our work. Behavioral approaches, such as the ones we are using, to learn new, more effective mind/body responses can be very powerful. Please understand, however, that you are not being “programmed” by some external entity. You are being given the tools to program your own mind and body. You are working entirely with positive reinforcement: awakening and supporting positive perspectives and behaviors.
Some people are afraid of permanent change. Don’t worry. Although you can make the positive changes permanent, you don’t have to. You will always be able to recreate your previous dysfunctional behaviors if you want to (it’s not clear why anybody would ever want to, but the choice is still yours). This is all about empowering you to become the person you really want to be.
What’s more, you will be able to invent new, even more functional behaviors at any time. Our goal is definitely not to create an automaton. It is to free you from being one!
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by Emmett Miller | Sep 16, 2011
1. Be comfortable. Being relaxed is a very important part of the process. Let your whole body sink downwards, imagining it being attracted by the force of gravity. If you lie down, let your spine sink towards the surface you are on, especially at the waist level. When lying on a flat surface, it usually helps to raise your knees, with your feet about shoulder width apart and the toes pointing inward just a little to keep your knees from falling outward.
2. Relax the muscles of your face, shoulders, and upper back. Don’t be concerned about what you look like! Just keep thinking about what relaxed feels like, visualizing serene images and environments, emptying the mind of judgment, criticism, comparison, evaluation, etc.
3. Breathe from your diaphragm, so that your lower belly rises as you breathe in and sinks back as you exhale. Imagine a balloon inflating and deflating your belly. Don’t hold your belly in, military-style—let it “hang out.” Abdominal breathing in this way produces a more deeply relaxed state.
4. Soft lights or darkness is best. Try to listen to the deep relaxation and guided imagery in a room that has soft, gentle lighting—a shaded lamp is better than a ceiling light and both are better than a fluorescent lamp. If you fall asleep too easily, then don’t make it so comfortable. The more anxious and tense you are, the more relaxing and quiet your surroundings need to be.
5. Isolate yourself. Arrange your listening sessions so that you won’t be interrupted by the telephone, family, or visitors.
6. Listen in a quiet place. If there are disturbing sounds, it is often better to “white them out” with a steady background noise, as from a fan or an air conditioner. Best of all, use stereo headphones to listen to the programs; those that cup the ears are the best.
7. Keeping your eyes closed can help you concentrate. You may want to keep them open at first, to make sure you “keep on track,” but eventually you’ll probably want to close them.
That said, about 10% of people consistently find they can always relax better with eyes open. Feel free to try this. Generally it is best to keep your eyes focused on a single point. It is best if you sit facing a wall, or lie down facing a bland ceiling. Alternatively you might use a thumbtack or sacred symbol as your point of focus. The goal here is to eliminate distracting items in your visual field and achieve a focused state of awareness. Such states potentiate the guided imagery that follows.
8. Deep relaxation may surprise you. You may become more relaxed than you are used to, and even feel that you’re a little bit out of control, but you’re not. The truth is that when you are in a safe environment, there is no need to control anything. This is the essence of relaxation.
If you are one of those “control freaks,” at the moment you have the thought, “Can I take control of my body?” simply clench a fist, open your eyes, or say something out loud. Having proven to yourself that you are still in charge, continue to prove it by taking a deep breath in, letting it out, closing your eyes, and relaxing even more deeply!
9. Learn to ignore distractions. Don’t worry if you find you sometimes have a stream of thoughts going through your mind while you’re listening to the imagery. That is quite common.
Actually, thoughts just like these are always going through your mind and distracting you from focusing on your true goals. It’s just that usually you are unaware of them. Now you have an opportunity to bring your mind under your control. By practicing the skills of thought- stopping and emptying your mind of these unnecessary thoughts, you are taking charge of your cognitive mind.
Don’t get tense or wrestle with the thoughts. What you resist tends to persist! Usually the guided imagery will give you some tools for clearing your mind, erasing these thoughts from your mental blackboard, or simply ignoring them.
Another way to free yourself is to passively watch the thoughts come and go, without paying them any particular attention. The trick is to avoid engaging with them.
For instance, imagine you are sitting at the edge of a small stream watching leaves on its surface floating by. You could reach out and touch them. But you also have the possibility of choosing not to engage and to simply watch them as they go by. You can do the same thing with your thoughts. If you refuse to engage, the thoughts will gradually fade away.
Don’t get upset if you find your mind following a train of thought. Just let the thought go, refocus again on your focal point, take a deep breath and breathe that thought out, and listen to what you are hearing in the guided imagery.
10. Don’t tell yourself that you are doing this wrong. There is no one “right way” to do it. Exactly what you are doing is right for you at the time. Like all skills, this one takes learning and practice. You will become more proficient with time.
You are learning an important new set of skills. It is best to approach this as an adventure of self-discovery. As you learn how your subconscious mind works and how to make friends with it you will gain more and more power to make the changes you want to make in yourself and your world.
11. Go with the flow. You may have some novel sensations, perhaps a feeling of light floating or of tingling in your hands. Don’t worry about such mild and unusual experiences. Enjoy them, and recognize that they reflect the positive inner changes that you are undergoing.
Don’t forget why you are doing this!
It is for your well being,
for your growth,
and your complete enjoyment of life.
Our good wishes are with you!
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by Emmett Miller | Sep 16, 2011
Congratulations!
You have already taken the most difficult step on the path to creating optimal health of mind and body—you’ve decided you want to change.
You will find these explanations and instructions especially helpful for healing yourself while using the recordings you have received. Though deceptively simple and enjoyable, the processes have been developed over many years of careful study and application, and are very powerful.
As you listen, you will receive suggestions, ideas, and ways of communicating with the cells of your body and with your own inner healing wisdom. Dr. Miller’s voice will offer suggestions and guidance for dealing effectively with the challenges in your life, whether it is to facilitate healing, improve your performance, or to enrich your life in other ways.
By listening mindfully and regularly, you will find these deep relaxation and guided imagery experiences to be potent tools for becoming the person you really want to be. The successes others have achieved working with these processes have been stunning, and the failures are most often due to using them improperly or not using them at all! They cannot help you if they remain comfortably nestled on your bookshelf.
You should find each part of the program simple to follow, if you simply discipline yourself to practice regularly. If you find that any part seems difficult or confusing, you may wish to consult a trusted physician, therapist, counselor or guide who can provide additional guidance, clarification, or support.
These notes were originally written for my coaching practice and for my patients to use following individual appointments. The first parts are useful to everyone; later parts are more specifically relevant to people who are having individual sessions. Some of this information, however, will be useful to those using the prerecorded CDs, MP3 downloads, and tapes. Please select an article below to continue:
